There is something inside that is screaming out
Catching scents of the fear
Let me scream
Tearing me to shreds as it licks at the blood
I’ll give in as I always do
This is not a tale of glory
This a written description of losing humanity
I am a dark presence
Stare at me
You’ll see me disappear in a show of smoke
I’ll leave behind nothing but empty screams
Place me in the sunlight
I would look nothing if not
Rays of light reflecting off my mirror skin
I take nothing in
A shell buried in the abyss
Soundless screams
Making a house for no one
That lesson has been learned
Anything that enters here will be sucked dry to the bone
I eat nothing
I take in blue emotion instead
It’s easier to swallow
Always searching for light
In my mind full of misery
I’ll open my mouth but you’ll hear nothing
Soundless screams
I’m running in the forest as I hold out my arms
Let the trees rip me open
Mark my trail for the world to remember me
Something remember me
Describe me as a word stronger than alone
I have no terms for who I am
All I know
I can never stop
In this place you may never stop moving
It will catch you
This orb of black sludge
Let it pretend it’s a woman
Long black hair
Shining in waves like velvet
Her voice carries over lands
Wherever the birds go
Let her pass you notes in secrecy until she claims you as her own
Don’t let her catch you
She’ll consume you whole while you watch with a grin
You need scream no more



Blue Girl

My sweetest lover
Swaying in her black dress
Clutching for anything
Brushing cool fingers across my cheeks
Whispering soft music into my ears
Coaxing my worries into her frail arms
Blue Girl
Blue sapphires
Behind a black curtain
She sees no one but me
Such a beautiful distraction
If she ever tried to leave
I’d slice my throat with her manicured
Black nails
What a twist of fate
Being in love with being empty
To being trapped in your own mind
With a girl
As blue as you
The reincarnation of disaster
Brown hair
Brown eyes
A taste for self-destruction on her tongue
In her bones
Writes the words in blood ink
Watches it dry in the twilight
She cries when the moon disappears
Plants flowers when the spirits come calling
Blue Girl
With all the color missing from her mind
All vision gone grey
It is nice to be




Covered in dust
I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep
Wondering who I must have been to have walked right into Hell
I’ve thrown away my silver pens
Staring out this window
I’m drawn by things that I cannot be
I’m tethered to this body with ropes made of barbwire
The days are going faster
I am thinking through things much slower
I’m trapped inside this mind that does not believe in me
I do not believe in me
Using medieval types of torture on my own flesh
I deserve it
I’m my own monster in sheep’s clothing
I’m so skilled in deceit
I even trick myself into believing I’m a saint
Are the spirits of the dead so bad?
In the night they whisper promises of peace
Times when I will no longer trudge through mud to find an ounce of light
Does anyone think glass is still beautiful when it’s broken?
One would only see distorted reality
A face that is whole, yet not fitted in the right places
You would see me
I’m here again
Where does one find purpose?
The only destination that I see is death
What does it matter what happens in between?


I Am

The only thing this body needs protection from is this mind
This sound like a time bomb in my brain
Tick tick tick
As the sea is a reflection of the sky
I am a reflection of my thoughts
Do not come too close
I have battles raging inside
If you listen closely
You might hear swords clashing
Another fight lost
Another sense of reality given up to history
Life is but a simple perspective
I am here, elsewhere, in between
I am self, nemesis, protector
I am lost
Above all else
I am sore
These battles have snapped my soul like a twig
I am a seed fallen to the sea
No purpose now
That’s a lot of growing to land in a graveyard
The dead aren’t as they are described
They know all the secrets
Sprinkle blood drops on their stones
Listen closely
Hear their prophecies
Do not take visions of the future lightly
What a beautiful feeling
I may look light
My mind is far heavier
Weighing me down
A bowling ball for a face
Place your fingers inside
Throw me to the darkness
I am tired of waiting
One can not escape the inevitable
Though I am invincible
I am frail
This world has been cruel
I have one last request
Throw me to the darkness
Let me live out my sweet fantasy one last time
I am tired of waiting




I began to fight my demons with such vigor
Sunset to Sundown
Drawing maps and creating plans
Turning myself inside out just to contact them
Utterly obsessed
I began to understand them
Enemies now my friends
I let them do many things
I think I lost who I truly was a long time ago
My child self is not my adult self
Who I was as a child feared the future too much
She left me behind to continue her trails in fields of lilies
I let her go because she deserved it
This mounting feeling of dread is not one for a child
These things that I have deemed my accomplices are not mentors for children
A nightmare the world would be
If not even children could escape their wrath
Let me describe It
An empty room full of shadows
Nearing they bring with them a winters breeze
Shaking your hand as they slice open your fingers
Blood debts
Blood curse
Smiling in their cloaks with their beautiful features
They are not how one would imagine
Walking greed
Never show them what you have to offer
In an instant you’ll forget you were ever gifted in anything
It’s hard to differentiate
Always with you
Always watching
They’re very understanding
They’ll never steer you wrong
If you let them you’ll be nothing more than a husk
Sucking you dry
You won’t even remember what the sky looked like
If there ever was one
It all feels like ash
Even I am turning to embers
Through it all
We do not leave our friends
I pray wherever my child soul has gone
Hear my words
Do not be as foolish as me





In the middle of it all
Her arms looked like a battlefield
Another cliché
Does anyone look at her and see pain?
She is more like a puzzle with missing pieces in unfound lands
She has no more boundaries to contain her emotions
A sailboat in the sea, she has lost her mast
Diving into the water to join the sirens just to get a glimpse of love
Even if it is a fraud
The only way home is with a telescope, a compass, and a mirror
Always lost in new worlds
Still none of them feel like home
As she takes a glimpse through the telescope the image is in fragments
Shattered by her presence
The compass is no guide
No matter the direction it only points back to her
The mirror is her final savior
Only she cannot bear to make the jump
Her only fear being herself
She would rather be lost than face herself
Stranded in the shipwreck with her body full of armies
Arms full of history
She finds refuge in the sunset
As she dives into the sea allowing it to put her to use
Alone in an abyss full of unknown questions
Feeling the press of the mirror as it shatters in her hands
She’ll make one last battle of herself



The Island of Broken Toys

The Island of Broken Toys
A nightmares reality
A cursed ground for all the
Unwanted, unneeded, imperfect
This Island of dust
Its only residents
Our very own idol
In a world of perfection there is no room for mistakes
21 inch waist
30 inch bust
Long legs, slim arms, perfect face
Everything toned in all the right places
The image of the perfect woman
Those Barbies only see this place as their very own version of Hell
A secret they dare not even whisper

The Island of Broken Toys
Perfect women don’t belong here
Throughout these sandboxes are only lost souls
22 inch waist
33 inch bust
Stubby legs, arms like broken sticks, a smudge on her lips
Much too far away from perfection
Here they lie
Taking the hand they were dealt
If you are not perfect, you are not worth it

These Barbies eat nothing but dirt
Puking out dust
Hoping that someday they’ll lose an inch of their plastic
Clumps of hair cover their malnourished bodies
While they lose their signature blond locks
Teeth covered in melted plastic
Sacrificing anything to be welcomed back into the inner circle
Slicing off their breasts with sharpened rocks
Cutting themselves open trying to scoop out their stomachs
This Island is no place to play
Only created for the living dead
In the night they moan out their cries
Whispering to the Gods
Offering souls to the Devil
All for a slice of perfection
Twilight brings forth the battleground
Decapitated heads
Ripping each apart to swap out their parts
Each becoming their own version of Frankenstein’s Monster
Was he also not meant for perfection?
They scream out for mercy
Bring me happiness or melt me down
They’ll shove sand in their breasts
Water in their behinds
Honey in their lips
Each their own makeshift plastic surgeon
All cursed to live an eternity trying to attain what they can’t grasp
Another’s version of perfection

All they are now are Monsters
Parasites searching for a body to call home
Searching for happiness
It’s whispered as a death sentence
Whispered as a prayer
Here on the Island of Broken Toys