I’m made of glass, and I can’t apologize for that
For when I open my mouth everyone hears shattering
No one wants that to seep into their mind
So, they throw their rocks at me instead.

I’ve turned into sand for as long as I can remember
I can’t change what’s in my core
We’re nothing but soil and water
I wonder if I even have a soul

I’m sharpened, and I’ve sliced enough to know
My brain is filled with sharpened crystals of obsidian
Each pressing into my nerves
Unleashing blackness, and demons that I refuse to name

I’ve lost myself in the reflections
Obsessed with mirrors, glass, and more glass
I’ll smash the mirror and slice my own wrists
The void calls, and I’m tired of pressing ignore.




I Thought

I thought you were the best
Until suddenly you were a storm that broke out of the sky
You picked up my house
Ripped the floorboards out from under me

I thought you were made of magic
Until I saw the black curse that was underneath it all
You climbed up the mountain and summoned the lightning
Struck me in my core

I thought you were a guardian
Until your scales started to show under your tan skin
You spewed venom out of your mouth while blood dripped from your lips
I still can’t get your fangs out of my neck

I thought you were a God
Until you put on your crown of obsidian thorns
You forced me to my knees, handed me ropes and chain
I’ve been untying these knots ever since.



The Sky

The sky opened up today showing me stars that I won’t ever be able to name
I saw faces in the stars of people that I have known
Always whispering but I only hear a breeze of noise
I’m separated from the sky

I’ll yell
I’ll keep screaming until someone screams back
I need words
Give me a list of the steps I need to take to want to wake up in the morning

I don’t know what is day, or night
All I know is I want to be alone without the loneliness
I don’t know what that means
I just keep screaming about it

I’m a marble lost inside my chest
A heavy sore that never stops aching with every beat inside my chest
Everyone keeps screaming about happiness, I just keep screaming back

The sky is going to close itself up again one of these days
I’m hearing the whispers of hope
I don’t know what that is
But they keep screaming about it



If my glass is half empty
I promise you it was full before I guzzled it’s contents
I’ll pour more sorrow over my glass
As I smash it in my hands

The glass embeds in my skin
Each cut allowing another memory to ooze out
Memories of why I’m here in this room
With the company of a bottle and a pipe

The smoke coats the room like a fog while it wraps its tendrils around my mind
I’ll let It lift me higher if only to taste a glimpse of what heaven is like
The bottle smashes on my nightstand and the room fills with warmth
I’m not yet welcome into Hell

Stare at my bones covered in my fullness
Stare at my hands slashed with scars, drenched in blood
Stare at the pool that is filling my home
Stare at the smoke while it engulfs me.

I’d cry if their was anything left inside me
I just keep screaming, “Me, Liquor, and God.”
I’ve never known a God, only myself
I don’t know myself

There’s a girl in my chest and she keeps gripping my heart
Scratching at my lungs until they’re raw
She tightens her grip around my veins as she tries to pull her way out
I don’t want to meet her, I just keep drowning her.




At the end of the day
She’ll shine the brightest
Grasping my hand
With kind eyes, telling me I’m walking in the wrong direction.

A lighthouse in the night
I’m a ship with no course
But I see her aura of light shining into the waters
Bringing me straight back to her.

Velvet hair, porcelain skin, and eyes like rapids
Smooth, but a storm
I’d walk into a hurricane for those eyes
You never make me lack feeling.

She painted a crystal on my heart
Told me look to the stars, look to the earth, look to her
Point my chin higher, pour gasoline back on my flame
She said, “Don’t you know we are descendants of Gods.”

An inferno of flames in the sea
She’ll shine the brightest
Find me a string of lights with more color than she has
She’s iridescent

Wiping charcoal war paint on my cheeks
She won’t let me quit
Preaching sermons of life and how to live it
I don’t believe in God, but she’s the closest thing to it.




I shut the windows
Locked the doors
She still snuck in
Left me pretty white lines

Drugs on the table
Blues, circles, squares
Numbers on the table
Dug deep in the mahogany from insanity

Tickle my throat with a feather
Vomit yo everything that ever
Made me laugh
My teeth are too rotten to smile

Rotten from the lies I have spewed
Rotten from all the hands I’ve let go of
Rotten, rotting, rot
They say I leave a bitter taste

Let me crack my skull with my scream
I need to drain all thus ink out
Filled with too many metaphors, and lines
No one can make sense of a poem anymore.



I have red ink marked on every limb that I own
Mistakes that I never wanted myself to forget
I’m sorry that I don’t regret enough
Or that I can’t say always say hello

Bones still excite me, and I’m still out of touch
The bathrooms still a clown house
All mirrors and scales and vomit somedays
I’m sorry I can’t always say that

My anger isn’t under control still
I still haven’t gotten a grip on my voice
It gets away from me or runs all over me
I’m still carrying around a whip
I’m sorry to the people who deal with my lashing out still

I’m still running from reality
I am trying to find where the finish line is
I’m not ready to live still, whatever that means
I haven’t found the meaning of myself still
I’m sorry still but I don’t know what for