I’m in love with the lies
The way they glitter, they shine
All of us just glimmering in shadows
Tainted by dishonesty

Of course
We let it be so
Denial is a comfort
An ecstasy beyond description

Melt myself down with heated words
I’ve never felt better than when I convince myself
I’ll be fine
Death is unavoidable, my friends

We are immortal travelers
Shoved inside flesh
Contributing to a plan that we are unaware of
How many lies have I already told?

All we are is our words
I come to wonder
Are we anything if our words don’t match our description?
I’m already smeared in ink

I’m written on paper
Thrown into the flames
I’m ashes of my words
Dust inside your fingers

If I’m ever found
If my words are ever read
Will they know who I am?
I have been erased, redrawn, reimagined

But the pretty little lies, they glitter
The girls they swoon
The young boys shine their teeth in the moonlight
We all open our mouths for the new day

Out come the moths
Sifting through our words
Break me down
Make me a believer



Sometimes I get so high
That everything makes sense
& nothing makes sense

Things are blurring
Words are slurred to fit the crowd
Is there anything real here?

In this dimension I’m in tune with my atoms
They vibrate and sway me in a dance
They’re saying hello

I’m never alone with them bouncing around
Stroking against my skin
Showing me my energy

My energy
I forget about my energy
I’m thankful to the high

The opening of an array of dimensions
Complex problems
Now drawn out in precise plans

The way my nerves turn in for the night
The way the woman screaming in my head
Blows out her candle for the night

My Heart & My Brain
Make a treaty for the night
No Terror Here

I’m back, and I’m alone
I’m not afraid of the sludge anymore
Or the girl with the long black hair

I’m thankful
You gave me a break
At my breaking point

You saved me
You know?
You saved me




Maybe I’m not so empty after all
I might be full
I might just be so full that I hear something screaming out
I feel a pressure in my ears, my eyes, my mouth
My soul
I’m stuffed like a stocking
Packed with demon candy
Coated with blood
I’m leaving out chunks of meat for the hounds
Snow falls from the sky
But it’s not snow
Only more ash
I’m so full
Of life that I don’t quite know how to use it
It almost makes me want to be empty
Almost makes me want to be different
I’m grasping at straws
But they’re not straws
Only past memories that I can’t let go of
I once had a kite, and I let it slip away
Couldn’t let it go
Screamed for days, starved for weeks
Can’t let go
I’ll never let another thing go
Know when I cling to you
It’s because I’m nothing without a crowd
Though with a crowd, I might as well be alone
Does anyone in this world listen?
I’ve been screaming for help since the dawn of time
But time is relative, and no one can hear me
Only all that I can hear are catcalls, and old dead men
I’m drowning in spiced rum
Envisioning times when alcohol was too tall on the shelf to grasp
I’m wondering how you function when sober, and happy?
But happiness is a fraud, and sobriety is the cell
Only I’m intoxicated, and drowning in sorrow
Inside my own cell
It’s so full in here




I walked into this world with ropes tied to my feet
I’m afraid of getting lost
I went farther than I had anticipated
I lost the light
I’m throwing out anchors for anyone to catch
They haven’t
All I see is this torture
In every eye that I pass there is a haunting
Someone cut my ropes
I wonder what they’ll do with them
My conscious is getting blurry
I no longer have a name that I willingly answer
I don’t feel anything
These are nothing but words spurting out of my fingers
Do you understand?
We are nothing but words here
I’m just not sure that I have any left
All the elegant words have been stolen from my mind
I need someone to know that I’m still running
So lost in my sadness
In no version of the future do I see myself filled with light
It’s been sucked out of me by leeches of people I had once known
I’m leaving drips of my own blood in every building that I visit
I need someone to find me
Please, someone find me
This darkness that I’ve made a pact with is desperate
In the end I gave it everything
It was almost peaceful
The feelings are gone
I’m so comfortable with being empty that I can’t even eat
There’s a key in me that is missing
Like a broken bulb on Christmas lights
I have malfunctioned
Tear me apart
Put me to good use
Fix me
I will shock you
Even in my suffering I find comfort
I’ll hurt anyone
Just to see that I’m not alone





Most nights I sway in the living room
Covered in my own tears
Dripping onto the floor
Creating my own salt circle
It helps keep the blackness away
People come knocking at my door
Asking what all the music is for
I keep it locked shut
No soul will ever know I reside here
Nothing but a ghost they say
My fingernails are filled with blood
I’m losing my skin
Losing pieces of myself
Can’t you see?
I had hopes like everyone else
I was sailing into my dreams
Until I sunk into the ocean
I refused to come up for air
I wouldn’t change a thing
I’m a host for decay
I love to show my rotting insides
Anyone who dares can watch the show
I’m a circus
I tame beasts with nothing but my mind
Surrounded by clowns
Always asking why I don’t smile more
They plead with me to put on some makeup
Show a little teeth
I’m already a fake
I don’t need another disguise
I want to be seen
I’m ready for everyone to feel my wreckage
See my ship
Watch how I sank right down to the sea floor
Glimpse the peace in my glass eyes
As I accepted that I’m nothing
Just another ghost
Lost in reality





“You aren’t alone.”

I am alone scratching my eyes out because I can’t bare to see
Alone when I pass the mirror in the morning to see an ever growing terror
Inside my head where I’m dodging traumatic decay
I’m alone.

“You can trust me.”

With these black insects crawling through my veins as they eat my sanity
Trust you with the secrets of the apocalypse that only effects my troubled soul
Hand you over the map of this minds inner workings
I can’t comprehend trust.

“You are loved.”

I am loved in the night when I lay down my head while I pretend I don’t have to fight another nightmare
Loved during the days where I awake as a zombie with no brains, feelings, or regard for much besides death.
Would I be loved when I slice open my ivory skin because I think it would look beautiful with roses?
I don’t understand love.

“You deserve life.”

I deserved it once, perhaps.
Before I broke it’s cardinal rule when I attempted to travel through time
When I picked flowers instead of skin, or did show-in-tell instead of drugs
I don’t feel life.